CANADA

SHAME OF THE NORTH

Beware! While many think of our Northern Neighbors as

harmless and slightly boring, the truth beneath the surface

tells a different story. A few examples of their depravity....

"Hey meester, want my seester? She do it French!"

Quebec gals drift to border towns, eke livings taking

English-French dictation, squander earnings on families back home.

Not even naked beaver stirs jaded Canuck cosmopolites

in swank border fun-spot, where marimba-playing cuties

often appear in dresses open to the neck and matinees

can run past suppertime.

A huddled motley of victims of Canada's worst

social disease. Squabbles over Kleenex can cause

brutal coughing fits; brazen derelicts sometimes

cadge Dristan from unwary tourists.

Mischievous scallywags of "Heck's Angels" snowmobile gang.

Angels' clubhouse is barred to public, often resounds to noise

of pillow fights way past bedtime. Note naughty "poop" slogan.