Robert Bussing, M.D., 54, (but looks 65), is coming to the end of his two year term as president of the medical staff, but the members of the committee he chairs finally reached their wit's end.

Bussing was well known for ranting and raving at the bimonthly Saturday meetings, but members could tolerate that, as they unfortunately had to tolerate the aftermath of his Friday night chili and bean burrito feasts. 

However, over the last few months, Bussing allegedly made members drink three Bloody Marys before he would allow the meeting to begin. "After the drinks, instead of going through the agenda, he would challenge us all to arm-wrestle him" said Dr. X, who prefers to remain anonymous. "When someone volunteered, he would give them a minute or so, then smack their elbow with his gavel, break out in raucous laughter and jump on the table and do a chicken dance."

Fisticuffs were common at the meetings, and hospital security had to use pepper spray on more than one occasion. It finally reached a point the committee members felt they had to act.

"We had a special session without him" said Dr. X. "One of the members had read about the 'straw immobilizer', an ancient Chinese device to contain unruly workers. We fashioned one up, put it on him, and it's worked like a charm! He's Doctor Docile now. If only we could do something about those damned burritos...."

Cindy Appetizer can be reached at 788-3334 or Appetizer.Cindy@mhsil.com.

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