Ten Things You Should Never Tell

 Your Mother


1.      You've had sex.

2.      Your mother-in-law is a better cook.

3.      You aren't wearing clean underwear.

4.      You aren't wearing any underwear.

5.      You're spending Thanksgiving with your in-laws

6.      You used to steal money from her purse.

7.      You lied about the dog breaking her Waterford vase in 1968.

8.      You don't believe in marriage.

9.      Your new boyfriend is married.

10.  You used to wish she was more like Donna Reed.