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O'Rourke
LANGUAGE
Etiquette is a universal language. And so is English. Foreigners may pretend otherwise, but if English is spoken loudly enough, anyone can understand it, the British included. Actually, there's no such thing as a foreign language. The world is just filled with people who grunt and squeak instead of speaking sensibly. French may be an exception. But since it's impossible to figure out what French people are saying, we'll never know for sure. True, some grunts and squeaks carry a sort of meaning to the people who utter them. It can be amusing to learn the sounds some foreigners make when they're trying to say "hello": French: "Bonjour" Italian: "Buon giorno" Spanish: "Tu madre es una puta" But learning more is unnecessary. It only encourages them in their ignorant ways. Real communication should be conducted in English or by waving around fistfuls of the packing tissue and candy wrappers foreign people use for currency.
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