Although it is quite proper to use up all the hot water and demand other comforts you are used to, it is not done to blow your nose in the sheets or polish shoes with towels even when invited to do so by the host who says make yourself feel at home. These types usually scrutinise everything after you’ve left and are always deeply embittered by your stains.

People love to see folk treat even their most humblest possession like it was an heirloom. And if your host lets you get away with leaving rings from your wet glass on his best mahogany always jump in his presence to take your handkerchief and wipe off the moisture. It is the very height of haughtiest particularity if you carry upon your person a special cloth for this purpose. But on no account take out large wash rags or get on your knees in a servile manner.

Treat your host’s help well, usually they have enormous resentments built up against him and they will make an immediate ally of you. They will also see to it that you get the best victuals your host usually hides for himself. A little joke concerning their employer scampering round to collect their tips after a guest’s departure will often amuse them while they are laying out your clothes and will explain why it seems you never leave a gratuity.