MENCKEN HOME MENCKEN'S CREED COLLEGE PROFESSORS MEMORIAL SERVICE DISCERNING TRUTH FEMININE MIND PHYSICIANS AND INCOME THE HUSBANDMAN THE GOOD MAN LIBIDO FOR THE UGLY MEN'S IDEA OF INTELLIGENCE MONOGAMY THE PROFESSIONS QUACKERY QUACKERY II PAYING FOR SCHOOLS THE MIND OF THE SLAVE A MORAL TALE THE TELEPHONE THERMOSTAT TO HIM THAT HATH TRAVAIL TYPES OF MEN WOMEN'S INTELLIGENCE A GOOD MAN GONE WRONG THE SCIENTIST CHIROPRACTIC		The Telephone   The telephone, I believe, is the greatest boon to bores ever invented. It has set their ancient art upon a new level of efficiency and enabled them to penetrate the last strongholds of privacy. All the devices that have been put into service against them have failed. I point, for example, to that of having a private telephone number, not listed in the book. Obviously, there is nothing here to daunt bores of authentic gifts. Obtaining private telephone numbers is of the elemental essence of their craft. Thus the poor victim of their professional passion is beset quite as much as if he had his telephone number limned upon the sky in smoke. But meanwhile his friends forget it at critical moments and he misses much pleasant gossip and many an opportunity for vinous relaxation.   H.L. Mencken The Boons of Civilization From the American Mercury, Jan., 1931, pp. 33-35